10 Steps to take after finding out your partner is cheating



Discovering your partner is unfaithful can be very hurting, you may not know exactly how to act at that moment or after. You may begin to feel series of feelings such as sadness, anger, shock or disbelief. You just want to know why they did it, do not over think it. Know that you’re not alone.

Don’t make any rash decisions you might live to regret. When you're in pain, angry and bitter, your thinking is likely to be distorted, unreasonable and irrational. You must try your best to remain calm and level-headed, in order not to compound your problems.




One thing you must not do is engage in brawl with your partner or the other person. It’s just not worth it. Besides, you might just end up getting hurt if things get out of hand. If you can’t let go of the fact that your partner was unfaithful, you will have a difficult time healing and most likely hurt yourself more and your relationship with God.

 Here are 10 ways to respond to the situation
1.    Stay calm and gather information: listen and don’t make assumptions, get to know why your partner did what they did and stay open minded.


2.    Find good company: you need a support system at this time. Talk to family and friends who are supportive and not judgmental to help you heal fast.



3.    Let out the tears: allow yourself be in the emotions and feel them. Crying is not a sign of weakness, it reliefs you psychologically. So go ahead and cry and scream if you need to!


4.    Get some exercise: to avoid being overwhelmed by the emotions, take care of you physically. Do some exercises, take a stroll or register in a gym. These activities help your healing process.


5.    See a doctor: your health is important so do not take chances.  Check for STIs and any other related diseases because your partner might be cheating with someone infected. Better be safe than sorry!



6.    Do not blame yourself: this is absolutely not your fault. It was solely your partner’s choice to cheat and you should not take it upon yourself.

7.    Protect your self-esteem: do not tie your self-esteem into how others feel about you. Your partner’s unfaithfulness has nothing to do with who you are but a clear demonstration of who they are.


8.    Own your mistakes: look at the part you played consciously and unconsciously. This will help adjust in the relationship or help you become better in your next relationship.

9.    Accept what happened: do not live in denial, accept the situation and confront the problem with your partner head on. Don’t be quick to make decisions and do not try to get back at your partner or revenge.


10.                      Reevaluate the relationship: The truth is your relationship does not have to end because your partner cheated, plus there is life after infidelity. Choosing to stay or leave the relationship has peculiar challenges. Neither decision will be easy. I urge you to let go of all the negative emotions. Don’t get stuck, instead stay open minded, give your best, don’t give up on your relationship and commit it all unto God.

 It is important you surround yourself with positive people, as you will require tremendous help and support through the difficult time.
Ultimately, healing after an affair will come from your total surrender and submission to God.


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