Facing your fear…guide to overcoming fear and anxiety

It is rare to find a person who lives without fear of one kind or another. whatever your fears may be, you can either let those fears form boundaries beyond which you can't  move or grow, or you can face them head-on and allow them to become opportunities to move into new places in your life. The choice is truly yours.

Face your fear

The only way to deal with fear is to face it. Avoiding it prevents us from moving forward-it makes us anxious. If fear or anxiety arises, recognize it. Watch it rise up. Notice how it feels in your body. Observe it as it is; don’t try to get rid of it or change it. Avoiding fears only makes them scarier. If you panic one day getting into a lift, it's best to get back into a lift the next day. Stand in the lift and feel the fear until it goes away. Whatever your fear, if you face it, it will start to fade.

Take time out

It feels impossible to think clearly when you're flooded with fear or anxiety. A racing heart, sweating palms and feeling panicky and confused are the result of adrenalin. So, the first thing to do is take time out so you can physically calm down. Distract yourself from the worry for 15 minutes by walking around the block, making a cup of tea or having a bath. When you've physically calmed down, you'll feel better able to decide on the best way to cope.

What's the worst that can happen?

When you're anxious about something – be it work, a relationship or an exam – it can help to think through what the worst end result could be. Even if a presentation, a call or a conversation goes horribly wrong, chances are that you and the world will survive. Sometimes the worst that can happen is a panic attack. If you start to get a faster heartbeat or sweating palms, the best thing is not to fight the fear but face it. Stay where you are and simply feel the panic without trying to distract yourself. Placing the palm of your hand on your stomach and breathing slowly and deeply helps soothe the body. It may take up to an hour, but eventually the panic will go away on its own. The goal is to help the mind get used to coping with panic, which takes the fear of fear away.

Welcome the worst

Each time fears are embraced, it makes them easier to cope with the next time they strike, until in the end they are no longer a problem. Try imagining the worst thing that can happen – perhaps it's panicking and having a heart attack. Then try to think yourself into having a heart attack. It's just not possible. The fear will run away the more you chase it.

Promote positivity

Fear causes us to notice and remember negative events, which reinforces our sense that the world is a scary place. We can work to change that by deliberately noticing what is positive, the joy we feel when we see someone we love, the beauty in nature, and the humor in a situation.

Get real

If you are coping with day-to-day fears and anxieties. Fears tend to be much worse than reality. Often, people who have been attacked can't help thinking they're going to be attacked again every time they walk down a dark alley. But the chance that an attack will happen again is actually very low.

Don't expect perfection

Black-and-white perfectionists thinking are unrealistic and only set us up for fear.  Life is full of stresses, yet many of us feel that our lives must be perfect. Bad days and setbacks will always happen, and it's essential to remember that life is messy. 

Visualize

Take a moment to close your eyes and imagine a place of safety and calm – it could be a picture of you walking on a beautiful beach, or snuggled up in bed with the cat next to you, or a happy memory from childhood. Let the positive feelings soothe you until you feel more relaxed.

Go back to basics

A good sleep, a wholesome meal and a walk are often the best cures for fear or anxiety.

The easiest way to fall asleep when worries are spiraling through the mind can be to stop trying to nod off. Instead, try to stay awake. Many people turn to alcohol or drugs to self-treat anxiety with the idea that it will make them feel better, but these only make nervousness worse. On the other hand, eating well will make you feel great physically and mentally.

Get support

Fear can also cause us to feel disconnected from others. The longevity of people who had encountered trauma in their lives was the strength of their social relationships.

Friends and family can help us to make a realistic assessment of the threat. With the support of others, we feel more confident that we can deal with issues and it physically calms us and reduces the fight or flight response.

Reward yourself

Finally, give yourself a treat.

When you overcome that fear you've been dreading, reinforce your success by treating yourself to a candlelit bath, a massage, a country walk, a concert, a meal out, a book, a DVD, or whatever little gift makes you happy.